Christmas is around the corner, which means it’s about time you examined carefully your holiday gift list. “Choosing the wrong gift can be kind of risky for relationships because it implies that you and the receiver don’t have anything in common,” says Elizabeth Dunn, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia in Canada. Her research has also showed that undesirable gifts can sometimes negatively impact the receiver’s perception of a relationship’s future potential. Since you don’t want your holiday gift to cause more harm than good, how can you be sure to choose a gift the receiver will love? Psychology may have the answer.

Contrary to common belief, studies have actually shown that spending more does not always guarantee a well-received gift. “It seems quite self-evident to most of us that if you spend more, you’re going to get a better girl. But as it turns out, there’s no evidence that recipients associate the cost of a gift with how much they enjoy that gift,” says Jeff Galak, an associate professor of marketing at the Carnegie Mellon Tepper School of Business in the US city of Pittsburgh. Galak acknowledges that your gift may have to hit a certain price due to tradition or expectations. “But once you meet that cost, it doesn’t matter at all if you buy something even more valuable than that limit,” he says.

Galak says the trick for giving a great and unforgettable gift is to think past the moment of handing it over. “When most givers give gifts, they try to make the moment they give the gift perfect and want to see the smile on recipient’s face right in that moment,” says Galak. “But in reality, what most recipients really love about a gift is how much value they’re going to derive from it over an extended time period.” In other words, it might be exciting to watch a friend open a gift of a concert ticket, but since it’s a gift that cannot be enjoyed over time, it may soon be forgotten. It is also suggested that if you can’t think of a good gift, just ask the recipient what they want. “People want to be creative and surprise the recipient,” says Dunn. “but the better gift will be whatever it is they say they like.”

At the end of the day, don’t fret too much about giving a terrible gift. Unless something is wildly inappropriate, the recipient will fell some level of appreciation. Galak says that over the course of his research he has asked thousands of participants about gifts they have received, and he rarely hears someone talk about a bad girl. And even if you do give a sub-standard gift to someone you are close to you may be saved by your thoughtfulness. “When someone does something puzzling that needs to be explained – like give a bad gift – that’s when you think about what’s on the other person’s mind,” says Nicholas Epley, a professor at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. His research shows that if your recipient feels like you at least spent a lot of time making your selection, they’ll appreciate the effort that went into choosing a less desirable gift. In other words, the old saying ‘it’s the thought that counts’ really might be true.

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