Topic 4: Being independent

Read the following passage and mark the letter A, B, C, or D on your answer sheet to indicate the correct word or phrase that best fits each of the numbered blanks.

Many young people strive to be independent. That means you are able to take care of yourself, and you don’t have to rely on anyone else. However, (1) __________ independently, you need a number of life skills in order not to depend on your parents and older brothers or sisters. One of the most important skills is time (2)_________ which can help you build your confidence and self-esteem. With good time management skills, you can perform your daily tasks, including your responsibilities at school and at home with pleasing results. (3)___________, you will not feel stressed when exam dates are approaching. These skills can also help you act more independently and responsibly, get better grades at school and have more time for your family and friends.

Developing time-management skills is not as challenging as you may think. (4)______________ , make a plan for things you need to do, including appointments and deadlines. Using a diary or apps on mobile devices will remind you of what you need to accomplish and when you need to accomplish it. Secondly, prioritize your activities. You need to decide which tasks are the most urgent and important and then, concentrate on these first. This way, you may not be at a (5)_________ to deal with too much work at the same time. Thirdly, develop routines because routines, when established, take less time for you to do your tasks. Time management skills are not hard to develop; once you master them, you will find out that they are great keys to success and you can become independent.

(Source: https://www.tienganh123.com)

Read the following passage and mark the letter A, B, C, or D on your answer sheet to indicate the correct word or phrase that best fits each the numbered blanks.

The ability to be independent is something that not everyone possesses. (1)_______, you need to be independent in order to survive in the world. Learning to support yourself is (2) ________ for any success you ever hope to achieve.

At the end of the day, you only have yourself to fall back on, so it is exceedingly important to be able to handle things on your own. It is all about being secure with who you are and what you believe in. It is extremely empowering knowing that you are (3)________control of your own life and your own choices. It is much more beneficial to listen to the voice inside yourself rather than the berating (4) ________of others.

We rely on others far more than it is necessary. People put their happiness in the hands of a significant other, thinking this will bring them fulfillment. This is a fatal error too many people make these days.

Do you always want to feel dependent on someone else? Of course not. Not only are you limiting yourself, you are more than likely becoming a burden to this person. We need to learn how to make decisions on our own. I understand asking your friends their opinion on a fashion decision, but do we really need to consult others on every minimal decision we have to make? Think of things (5)________ are in your best interest and choose that option.

(Adapted from https://www.elitedaily.com/)

Read the following passage and mark the letter A, B, C, or D to indicate the correct word or phrase that best fits each of the numbered blanks from 1 to 5.

A question I was asked about the readiness for independence (or lack thereof) during the last stage of adolescence (ages 18 - 23) was this: “How can parents teach independence?” From what I’ve seen, there are at least four components to this training: responsibility, accountability, work, and self-help. And this instruction can start as soon as (1) ____ begins, (usually between ages 9 and 13) if not before.

Young people who learn independence can often say: “I (2) ____ my freedom by acting responsibly (I did what was right even when it was hard to do),” “I was held (3) ____ for my bad choices and paid for my mistakes (I faced my consequences),” “I worked to get a lot of what I wanted (it wasn’t all handed to me),” “I developed the resourcefulness to help myself (4) ____ with difficulty (I met my problems head on).”

Young people who seem to get stuck in their dependent ways often have parents who, with the most loving motivation, undermine the growth of independence. They give freedom without demanding evidence of responsibility. “If you really want to do it, that’s enough for us to say okay.” They rescue from or ignore bad choices without (5) ____ on accountability. “You didn’t know any better so we’ll overlook what you did.” They provide whatever is wanted without having the child work for any of it. “We’ll just get it for you.” They weaken with so much help when difficulties arise that the capacity for self-help is disabled. “We’ll fix what you did and take care of it.”

Allowing adolescents to make more of their own choices was found to be the most common strategy used to encourage independence. Many parents also reported that they are pushing their teenager by no longer doing certain things for them. Regardless of their effort, one quarter of parents surveyed still believe they are the main barrier to their teen’s independence because they are failing to hand over more responsibility.

“As children become teenagers, the role of parents shifts to helping them gain the knowledge and experience they will need for being independent adults,” explained poll co-director Sarah Clark. “This process of transitioning from childhood to adulthood includes everything from preparing for work and financial responsibility, to taking care of one’s health and well-being. Our poll suggests that parents aren’t letting go of the reins as often as they could be to help teens successfully make that transition.”

The new survey from the University of Michigan involved nearly 900 parents with at least one teenager between the ages of 14 and 18. Overall, 60 percent of the respondents attributed their child’s lack of independence to characteristics such as not being mature or knowledgeable enough to take on more responsibility. By contrast, 25 percent of parents admitted that it is faster and less of a hassle to do things themselves. “It is clear that parents recognize tension in helping teens move toward independence, and they agree that valuable learning experiences often result from a poor decision,” said Clark. “Some parents justify taking control over certain responsibilities because they don’t believe their teen is ‘mature enough.’ Parents need to carve out more time for supporting teens in their transition to adulthood.”

(source: https://www.earth.com/)

Even though it’s sometimes hard for parents to think about letting go of their child, the best relationships are the ones that teens come back to, as adults, recognizing how their parents have helped them into adulthood by not clinging or pushing them away too soon. We recommend that parents look for opportunities to teach independence, starting in childhood.

Encourage your teen to be responsible for his or her own time. “How much time do you need for homework?” “How long to do you need to unwind after school?” If the answers to these questions are “None” and “Until midnight”, then your teen needs some help making a schedule. Many teens can come up with a reasonable time for getting things done, with some practice and initial limits from you. You may want to let her try out her schedule through, say, one grading period. If grades go down, the schedule needs work and maybe more supervision from you.

Not knowing basic financial skills can be one the first things to trip up a newly independent young adult. Look for chances to teach basic money skills. Some parents give their teen a set amount of money and let her plan the weekly grocery shopping or family vacation. Have her help you pay utility bills and budget for expenses. Explain carefully about credit cards and limit access to credit. Teens are impulsive, and easily get stuck in the trap of charging more than they can pay off. An after-school job is a great opportunity for your teen to start practicing.

More than anything else, teens learn from making mistakes. As a parent, your job is to try to make sure that the mistakes your teen makes aren’t life-threatening, like getting into the car with a drunk driver. Most mistakes, though, will not fall into that category. No one is perfect, especially parents. It’s important that teen see that you do not expect perfection from him or from yourself, and that you can admit your mistakes when you make them. Letting your teen make mistakes, and letting him suffer the consequences of a mistake, can be hard to do. But when you give your teen permission to make mistakes, and let him know you love him anyway, you tell him that you believe in his ability to take a fall, get up and learn from it.

(source: http://huckhouse.org/)

When I tell people about the idea of moving out, many people’s reaction is like, “what do your parents say?” because they assume the parents would not like their children to leave them. Well I don’t know if my parents like it but I can tell you my parents support and respect my decision. They think it is good for me to try and live on my own and then I would know it is the best to stay with my family. The most important reason for independent living is to save the travelling time to work. It used to take me one hour fifteen minutes to travel to work from my previous living place.

From my new apartment, it just takes me thirty minutes so I saved forty-five minutes’ traveling time. I don’t have to get up so early and I save two-third of my traveling cost. It does not only save my time to travel for work but also from most of the places in Hong Kong. In addition, I gain my personal space and freedom by independent living. I make my own decision all the time, I do not have to say whether I would go home for dinner, I can invite my friends to come up and stay late.

Of course, there are some trade-offs in living on your own. If you want to rent an apartment, there are lots of preparatory work to do. You have to keep visiting the apartments to search for your ideal one. You have to negotiate with the landlord about the price, furniture inclusion, who is responsible for the maintenance of the furniture and equipment. My experience was that after we moved into the apartment, it was not until the kitchen cupboard was soaked with water that we found out there was water leakage in the kitchen sink.

Money is the main issue in living on your own. You have to be responsible for all the expenses, for example, the rent, electricity, gas, water, telephone, internet bills, etc. Therefore, you’ve got to be well prepared and save up for your bills. Although I find my transportation time much shorter, the saved time is spent on other things, such as cooking and some other household chores. I think preparing and cooking the food do occupy a significant portion of my time, therefore I always try to make simple meals. On the other hand, I have to regularly tidy up my apartment and wash my clothes, so it doesn’t really save much of my time after all.

Now everything is settled down, I’m getting used to my new life and I am enjoying it. I feel that moving out makes it easier for me to strike a balance between my work, my social life, my study and my family. It may be troublesome but it may worth.